Qaf Fics - Brain and Justin


  • Maps and legendsBrian and Justin embark themselves on a journey around the US, their adventure filled with moments of imminent despair at finally knowing each other, and of closeness that builds towards a future together. ("Nobody was there when you made me care about doing art again, or when you saved me from having to drop out of school even though I'd fucking walked out on you, or any of the other zillion things you've done for me when no one else was looking. They don't know the way you touch me when we're alone. The way you look at me...They could never understand how much you give me every day. Every minute. And if anyone really believes you're the asshole you pretend to be, then they're fucking stupid.")

  • The house at the far corner of the lake – Brian is a writer and Justin a painter, they both are successful until a writer’s block hits Brian and he becomes obsessed with the new book he is to write, he dehydrates and is closer to the brink. Justin takes him away to a house at the lake. There strange occurrences start to happen. Brian feels like someone invisible is constantly touching him. He asks questions and finds out that Edward Caldwell is the spirit trapped in the house. He learns about the history of Jeremiah and Edward and that they have been searching each other for 100 years. They are brought together at last. (“I asked him once why he didn’t take a wife and he told me with tears in his eyes he (Edward) had loved once in his life, but it was a love so strong and so wonderful that he knew he could never find anyone who could compare with what he had lost. It was tragic for Edward to be alone. He was such a wonderful, caring man,”)

  • Through a mirror darkly – The mirror is a distorted window though another dimension. It can open only when the guardian allows it. Brian goes to a club in Chicago, high on drugs the mirror seems like any other, only it is not. One dimension: Brian wakes up not knowing who Justin is, not seeing his son for over a year because Lindsay and Mel never got back together and that Michael never persuaded Ben. The second dimension: Brian wakes up asking for Justin only to find out that nobody knows about him, he tries to find him, first his family, then Daphne that leads him to a graveyard where Justin’s remains are. He died the night of his prom because Brian never knew him and never stopped Chris, never showed up at the prom. The verdict: You don’t belong here.

  • Atavism(s)Justin’s apartment building in NY is engulfed by fire so he loses everything. Brian comes for him and takes him to Pittsburgh. There J is given the chance to start again: he has Britin, a job at Kinnetik and, of course, Brian. When given the choice to go to NY he chooses what makes him happy. (“Brian,” Justin began, turning his body to face me and taking my hands in both of his. “I suddenly realized that the most beautiful, stunning and powerful piece of work I’m capable of creating is not in New York…it’s here. It’s inside me and it comes from you, and it’s always between us. It’s nourished by our love, it lives through us.”)

  • A throw- away world – Brian’s elevator breaks down and someone is called to repair it, that someone is Justin. (He shrugged. “One of the office buildings I work for had some problems with it. I could have fixed it for them but after someone burned a hand, no one else would touch it. They wanted me to just haul it down to the dumpster, but I took it home instead. I had it working flawlessly by the time I went to bed that night.” His smile faded. “Isn’t that just typical? Any little thing goes wrong and people’s first instinct is to throw it out.” He gestured around to indicate the rest of his kitchen and perhaps the rest of his apartment. “Almost everything I have, someone else decided was broken, and therefore useless. They never even pause to think that things can be repaired and made good as new again. Better, even. What’s wrong with people?”)

  • The Lark still bravely singing(s) Historical AU-WWII - In a time of intolerance and prejudice, one man is brave enough to come out of the shadows to give another person what has always been denied to him. This is, in essence, a love story.

  • Between the crosses(s) – The war ended (WWII) and Justin and Brian plan to return to US as fast as possible, they fly from Syracuse to Valencia, and most time are apart, because soldier Justin Taylor is dead. They meet Julian, one of the Lost Boys and thus Justin takes his name becoming: JAY MOIR. But is the war entirely over? Brian has to learn the hard way that until every party yields it is still war. (“I was thinking of love,” he replied with a smile, his gaze also flicking over to where I lay. “But yes – of course, Brian. His love is your light. And your love is his. You’re the only real light I think he’s ever had in his life.”/ "There were times that we would have to worry about ‘then’ and ‘when’. But without a ‘now’, there could be neither. To cherish and accept life in the moment, I felt, was to truly live. \To live… and to love.\And love was a risk I was willing to take.")

  • Testimony to love - Having to fake his own death, Brian Kinney disappears to San Francisco where he enters witness protection. Grieving and no longer having the passion or the motivation for his art, Justin starts to look for a new direction and upon completing his teacher training course in Graphic Art, takes up a position at a San Francisco business school; an opportunity to start a new life in a new city. But what happens when Justin meets a man who re-awakens his passion for art and for life and realizes he’s falling in love again and that things aren’t necessarily what they seem?

  • A haunting affair – Justin was murdered 30 years ago, the night Brian had been born. He haunts the Taylor house and is relieving the scene every year.

  • Your kingbirdJustin is a hustler (Brian, who kept making so many goddamned exceptions to his own rules for Justin. /Brian, who never wanted to be a hero, and kept acting like one anyway – Brian who took Justin’s breath away with his fucked-up mixture of cynicism and caring, and Brian, Brian who wasn’t the face of God, wasn’t anyone’s saviour. /Who wasn’t anything more than a fucking beautiful, fucked-up man that Justin was falling rapidly in love with. /Fuck. How could he have been such a moron? /Brian was an opportunity, all right. A real one, not just some guy in search of a charitable tax deduction. Brian was all that possibility of maybe, maybe someday Justin could wake up next to someone every morning, maybe have a living, breathing life model, a partner – maybe, maybe if Brian wanted it too, it would work./And maybe it wouldn’t. But fuck, nothing else had worked for as long as Justin could remember, so for all he knew, karma owed him one./Instead of taking the chance, Justin would have been lost forever in this stupid fucking trap. Let the trick take him home. Let the guy fuck him.../No. No more. /God, Brian. He wanted to go back, wanted Brian to wrap him up in blankets, sit him down, curse at him – wanted Brian to believe, to say ass-backward things like “Why the hell don’t you think you’ll get through this?” Justin wanted to feel Brian inside him, gentle and unhurried. Wanted to feel Brian when neither of them was going anywhere.)

  • Broken image - Brian has an unexpected brain aneurism that leaves him semi paralytic. He slowly begins his treatment and physical therapy, but an injury to your dominant hemisphere makes you frustrated and depressed. Fortunate Michel and Justin are there for him (“But equally remarkable was the fact that Brian had chosen to erase, obliterate that step using some convoluted logic that had transformed the bashing into the deus ex machina to reverse time. To undo shared feelings. And the pain of that ripped into Justin's core.” )

  • That happy feeling – Brian begins to wonder if he and Justin are really happy with how things turned out. Justin is in NY and Brian visits every weekend for 6 months. He calls Justin to come home and for the first time he tells Michel and Lindsay the truth about who he is. He tells them that he won’t be their Brian anymore, the Brian before Justin. He insists Lindsay brings his son home.

  • Silence and tearsBrian and Justin fall apart after J leaves for NY. Justin has almost given up on Brian after he stopped calling him. Jenifer and Cynthia conspire to get the boys together to the same skiing venture in Canada. While there Brian injures himself on the slopes and Justin takes care of him. (“Maybe, but at some point, invisible to me, it became love. I love all the truly terrible things about you, Brian. I love your gruff, sophisticated boredom with all things romantic while underneath you are the most ridiculously romantic man in the world. I love your sex machine persona, even when you direct it at some other guy. I love seeing how other men react to you, and that fierce freedom in your style. I love knowing that even when you’re fucking them, you still love me. Only me. I love your toughness, how you act like testicular cancer is a vacation in Ibiza, how you finish that bike race in agony, how you let Gus move to Canada with his mommies, even though it broke your heart. But I also love how underneath that iron man exterior is vulnerability so raw it takes my breath away. I love how you protected me from my father’s hatred. I love how you came to the hospital every night when I was bashed. I love how you tried to recreate that dance for me. I love how you wore that bloody scarf next to your heart. I love your completely fucked up self-esteem issues and your ambition and your absolute decency. I love Brian Kinney. Not some domestic clone of Brian Kinney. I never want to change you. If you change as the result of experience or age or whatever, fine, I’ll love that version of you, too. But don’t do it for me. Don’t force it because you don’t want to lose me.”/ “I love your courage, Justin. The way you came back after that bashing, the way you stood up to your father, the way you call me on my shit,” he says with a smile. “I love your talent, your artistic eye, your creative mind, your perfect ass. I love the way you cried when I told you I didn’t believe in love, only in fucking, and yet you still wouldn’t give up. I love the way you had the balls to come after me following your fiasco with the fiddler, and how you wouldn’t let me walk away. I love how you can care for me without smothering me, without making me dependent. I love the way you play me, sometimes, reminding me of what matters, of who matters. I love that you saw beneath the Kinney façade and still wanted what you found there, quivering and cold,” he reaches out and touches my face. “We let other people, other circumstances come between us, Justin. The way others perceived us, and what we should need from life, had a terrible impact on our relationship. We operate best in a vacuum of our own creation. It’s not a relationship others necessarily understand or admire or want to emulate, but who gives a shit? If it works for us, why do we let other people and their conventions, chip away at what we know is right? They tell you that you deserve more, better, and maybe they’re right. They tell me I need to commit to you, be a steady partner, and yet in the same breath they tell me I need to let you go, so you can follow your dream, and maybe they’re right. But they’re also inconsistent. They say what they want to say when they want to say it, and let’s be real. Most of what they say is fucking hurtful. You let Michael convince you that you really wanted domestic bliss. You let Lindsay convince you that you really needed to move to New York. I let Michael convince me that I really want to be a party stud until I die, and I let Lindsay convince me that I was causing you to make a terrible sacrifice in order to be with me. Fuck Michael. Fuck Lindsay. What we need to decide is what Brian and Justin need and want. We have to shut off the outside world, because that’s the only way we really seem to work.”)

  • Mechanical Michelangelo – Justin left for NY and Brian never went after him. At first he survived by being a hustler, but then Breven, a tattoo artist recruits him after seeing the improvised tattoo pistol and what Justin had done to his hands with it. Justin becomes a renowned tattoo artist. He comes to Pittsburgh for a tattoo convention and runs into Michael. Brian finds out he is in town and comes to see what happened to the twink that once loved him. What he discovers is a new Justin, with tattoos (a dragon on his back), earrings, who listens to heavy metal – he loves every bit of him.

  • Why not meJustin is in NY and Brian is missing him and having flashbacks and memories from his past that start to hinder his life and his sleep. Justin comes home and convinces Brian to see a psychologist, Dr. Stevenson, who taps into Brain’s subconscious and helps him overcome some issues of the past like: he is deserving, why his parents never loved him, his suicide attempts, why he tricks,  does drugs or drinks. Thus he brings Brian and Justin together. (The wave is crashing down pushing toward the edges of the painting, pushing the viewer -- but there is nothing out there. All the beauty in the painting is behind the wave; it has tremendous forward momentum, strength. But it’s going straight into nothing. From beauty to nothingness.)

Merlin recs

Fics by gfeather:  The Dragon within , In search of remembrance , Devotion

In search of remembrance  -  There is always a Warrior and a Warlock. Merlin and Arthur have lived six lifetimes together, the last of which ended over three centuries ago. Sensing Arthur's return, Merlin puts himself in a position to be at Arthur's side again, though his rebirth does not go as expected. Without his memories, Merlin struggles to control his wild magic, a task made all the more difficult when he arrives in Camelot and meets an arrogant prince who makes his magic sing.( (There is not a thing missing in this story: we have Arthur finding out, a life that transcends worlds, the one prophecy that matters is being fulfilled.)

*    The dragon within  - In the aftermath of the Great Dragon’s attack on Camelot, the city is left with the enormous task of recovering from all it has lost. Left a broken man by the loss of Morgana and Kigharrah’s fiery rampage, Uther’s rule begins to fail. Arthur finds himself struggling to hold the kingdom together while Merlin slowly begins to discover all that becoming a Dragonlord entails. (Merlin has wings

   But it’s a good refrain Merlin is the host of a radio show named “Dragon’s Lonely Hearts” and Arthur goes through relationships that only last three months. When he calls in and has an on-air argument with th
e host, it starts off more than he expected, including meddling friends, over involved fans, and maybe love. (…and I want to have time with you when we finally decide to do that, even if we have been dating for a month unbeknownst to me.”)

* August  - Merlin and Arthur go to Ealdor in the summer (This was nothing like tumbling a milkmaid or an agreeable lording—there were no secrets here, hidden beneath their skin—and Arthur took his time, mapping the geography of Merlin’s neck, studying his newest territory. He was not a scholar, but he was a dutiful prince, and Merlin was his now, to guard and learn and tend for, to be had for as long as Arthur had the strength to keep him.)

*    For your informationArthur comes out to his father about being gay. Uther doesn’t know how to handle it and so asks Merlin’s help. Ultimately he is offered on a plate for Arthur to date.

*    The lonely kingArthur is the Prince of Wells, and he wants to renovate a school in Cardiff. Merlin is a homeroom teacher and is assigned to be Arthur’s help. Love follows swift and unmerciful.

*    Complications  - The Olympics 2010 London = Arthur is a volley ball player in team with Gwaine; Merlin is a swimmer on the GB team. They meet in the Olympic Village and fall in love. ("Not all of us got press coverage for our name alone or a fucking guaranteed spot; some of us had to earn it and if you're embarrassed to be seen with the little people who worked their entire lives to compete here, maybe you should have stayed – home.")

*    Ashes, embers, flames – Merlin loses his flat-mate who leaves to Switzerland, and is about to lose his apartment. Arthur meets him at a party of Gwen’s and offers to let him stay at his house. Slowly a flame ignites between them, yet Arthur’s control hinders him to act on his attraction. Uther lost Ygraine and had long started his purge against magic and the battle for his rightful throne. He comes after Merlin and is about to burn him alive, yet Arthur’s love prevails and he is saved.

*    Coming up  - Merlin can think of a billion reasons why moving to Camelot-on-Sea in the middle of his A-levels is a terrible idea. He would much rather play his guitar than work in his uncle’s chip shop and he has no intention of making friends. Until he joins head boy Arthur Pendragon’s wannabe-Britpop band and finds himself falling head over heels for the stuck-up prat… (Arthur's hand brushes lightly against his leg, an accident, Merlin supposes, but he doesn't move it, just lets it rest there on his thigh, and Merlin feels suddenly tense with arousal. He shifts, just slightly, hoping that Arthur will realize and move it, but he doesn't. Merlin feels his breathing speed up, sure that it's audible, especially since they only have one ear bud each. He lets his gaze flicker across to Arthur's face, only to find Arthur's eyes on him already. He takes in Arthur's blue eyes and the way his hair falls in front of them, his neck, exposed beneath Merlin's prior efforts to loosen his collar, his lips, soft-looking, quirked into a quizzical smile. He's so young and beautiful and so everything Merlin wants in the world that he finds he can't breathe. And then Arthur must see something of this overwhelming desire in his face, because his lazy smile slips, replaced by something more serious, almost hungry. It's Arthur who moves, it has to be, because Merlin is frozen with awe and want, pinned beneath his gaze, and not at all prepared for the sudden, warm feeling of Arthur's lips on his.// He records over the mix tape he made with Avalon's songs on it. He can't listen to Arthur singing about love, not when he has to watch him acting it out with someone else right in front of his eyes. He can't listen to any of the songs they listened to together on the beach either. He hates Arthur a little bit for taking the music away from him, too, for having tainted it so that he can't listen to his favorite songs without thinking about him. He fills a tape instead with all the angry songs he owns. He sits hunched over his 12 string at break times and strums his guitar with more venom than even the angriest of angry songs deserves. It doesn't really make him feel better.)

*    Stars above and stars below - After the disastrous end of his betrothal to Gwen and the regret of his offer to Princess Mithian, Arthur swears off finding a wife until he’s ready to wed. When Merlin offers himself to Arthur as bedmate, Arthur suggests they hand-fast in secret for a single year of mutual pleasure without obligation. As their year together unfolds, and secrets and betrayals unravel around them, Arthur and Merlin learn there is no such thing as uncomplicated pleasure. Everything they thought they knew can change in the span of a single year. (After the end of that year Merlin becomes Arthur’s without any secrets)

Qaf recs - Brian and Justin

  1. Healing - With the Mommies' marriage crumbling down around them, Gus forced attention on himself by acting out in an ill fated attempt to keep his parents together for his little sister, JR's, sake, but at what cost to him? ("You can hide something. You can lock it away, but you'll never escape it," Justin replied in an even tone.)God what an insight this is on Gus, and how many lessons can be taught only by reading this.
  2. Spin and fall – Brian goes to Seattle to deal with his itch to bottom. There he meets JT and falls in love, though he introduces himself as Aidan (his middle name). He returns to JT 2 or 3 times, till Justin Taylor is interviewed as art director for Kinnetik. (Justin is a top due to a trauma he suffered in high school, only until he accepts himself as the bottom he really is does he let Brian top him. (“I chose a man with great intelligence and curiosity, interesting and interested, with a quick wit and a great sense of fun. He has a great appetite for life, a passionate heart and a very strong will. He is a gifted, creative artist and an ideal collaborator, and the most beautiful and sexiest man I’ve ever known. I am amazed every day that he returns my interest.”)
  3. Image is everything – Brian is a photographer and Justin comes to ask him if he is well suited to become a model. Brian immediately sees the potential and offers Justin the opportunity of his life.
  4. Lies lust and love - Their relationship starts out on a lie, lust quickly follows - will love be next?
  5. Behind the fifth moon – Brian is a teenager when he leaves Pittsburgh to go to Seattle. There he applies for a job and a mysterious Mr Taylor answers his call. Justin is a recluse that lives in isolation in the mansion La cinquieme Lune. (Brian saves the drama princess from her tower)
  6. Sacrificed - When his business starts to fail, Craig Taylor makes a bargain to save his company. What happens when the time comes to repay the debt?(Brian is Anael an archangel)
  7. Dear John Doe – Justin left to New York after Brian was robbed. After three years Brian finds him hustling and takes him to Pittsburgh where he shows glimpses of the old Justin.
  8. Time and fever burns away – Justin has cancer (He learns what he already knew that Brian loves him.)
  9. Teacher – Justin’s Brian’s Econ teacher and as hard as he fights temptation he cannot resist a seventeen year old Brian. (Justin can’t really breathe, and everything hurts, but he doesn’t much care. It’s good. It’s too good, better than anything he’s imagined, and he can tell from Brian’s wide eyes and startled whimpers that he feels the same. / “I’m looking for somebody who makes me feel,” he says. “(I want) somebody who I can’t stop thinking about, who I want to touch and look at and be with all the fucking time. I want to miss him when he’s not around, and when he is around I want to feel like…like everything is better. Beautiful. I want to feel like my heart is, like, growing, like I’m becoming…better inside, just from being near him. I want to feel like I’m flying when we’re fucking. Like I’m going to just…combust! Like I would die if he never touched me again!”/Why does the love of his life have to be a seventeen-year-old boy? Justin doesn’t know, and he’s not sure he cares.)
  10. Queer as grease – Brian and Justin meet at a beach house and Justin falls in love with Brian. His parents’ divorce and he moves to Pittsburgh and he reunites with Brian. (rock band, Ethan as a guitarist, the bashing, Rage: The gay crusader, the make up after separation)
  11. The seven stages of Gus – Glimpses of Brian and Gus’s relationship through years – Father and son. (His devotion to Justin: "Most of all, promise me you'll take care of my Justin. Except for his sister, you're his only family. He adores you and Erin and baby Brian. Never forget him just because I'm gone. He's going to be so lost, so....lonely..." a tear traced the sharp bones of his face and Gus wiped it off. "We've been together for so long, through so much. I hate leaving him all alone.")
  12. Ceremony - Brian and Michael have sex. Justin still finds the strength to forgive Brian.
  13. Be all that you can be – Justin never saw Brian after he was told “You can see me in your dreams”. Craig sent him to military school after finding out his son was gay. After 11 years they reunite and fall in love, despite the fact that Justin is currently the officer of a squad in US Special Forces.
  14. Landscape arc – No matter how much he tries Brian can’t hurt Justin enough for him to give up his love. (Chin lifted, armour plates still in place, he fixes you a resigned look. "Then you shouldn't have saved me that night. I'd rather be dead than feel like this.")
  15. Handcuffed – Brian and Justin fall in love with each other in one day, after Brian releases Justin from his cuffs at school.(Bond – sequel)
  16. Happily ever after - Brian Kinney: CEO of Kinnetik Advertising Agency, but now a recluse and making a living writing screenplays: romantic thrillers. But these are stories that never have happy endings. Following circumstances that leave him scarred and guilt-ridden, Brian has retreated to his house and buried himself in his work -Justin Taylor: A struggling artist who is commissioned to paint a portrait of Brian's son, Gus .What happens when they meet? Can Justin persuade Brian he's still as beautiful and desirable as he ever was and that there is such a thing as a happy ending and that they can live happily ever after? (“And if it means you still need other guys ... that's okay too ... it won't mean a thing ... it won't change anything between us ... who you are ... just as long as you come home to me.”/ Brian smiled. “I do love you,” he whispered, at last voicing the confirmation Justin had hoped he'd one day hear, not that he'd doubted Brian's love for him for a long time. Brian's eyes were shining and Justin gasped. His own eyes were now brimming and he leaned in to kiss him. /“I know ... I love you too,” Justin told him.)
  17. The Duke of Tremont – AU – Brian is Duke of Tremont, younger brother of the king and Justin is the son of Duke of Westlake. Clair and her husband Saperstein intend to make Ballybone their land a single country separated from Pennington the country ruled by Jonathan, the king. Brian and Justin are soul mates and Brian is chosen by the fairies and has gifts like foreseeing, healing Justin with his blood. (Duke of Tremont II – The country of Maynor’s king dies of an unknown disease, and Jonathan receives a gift from Duke of James Stockwell, a ruby brooch and the king fell ill from the same disease. Brian and Justin start on a journey to find a cure and to unlock Justin hidden potential. )
  18. Be careful what you wish for - Brian’s Uncle John is dying of complications of AIDS and asks for Brian to come to Denver to meet him. Justin had been taken under John’s wing when his father disowned him for being gay, after he was bashed at his prom. Since then he has been taking care of John. John wishes for his nephew’s happiness that he is sure will find having a partner in his life and the candidate for that position is none other than Justin.
  19. Experiment – Brian gives up tricking for a week, then for a month, and then grows up into the man Justin always saw inside him. (So when I’m talking to him; whether he’s here or whether it’s like last night and we’re on the phone, just laughing about something dumb someone said (with our friends, there’s always something) or making plans for how we’re going to handle this mess our careers are both in, or just comparing notes on some dumb TV show and should they really have tried to get that overweight straight guy into that shirt?; whenever we just relax together, I feel good. I feel good about me. About who I am. Just because of how he sees me. Like, I don’t have to be some ultra- smooth successful suit, or some super-stud, or some kind of super hero. Just Brian is enough for him. Which means that, for the first time in my life, I feel like just Brian is okay. He may not be the greatest guy in the world, but he’s okay. / For some reason I suddenly flash on all the times when he was a kid that he must have come home after a day at school, proud of himself because he'd aced a test, or won some race. And got nothing from those asshole parents of his but scorn and criticism, if he was lucky; or the shit beaten out of him if his dad was in the mood. So he stopped coming home with those expectations that his parents would be proud of him, stopped ever exposing himself like that. And the `don't give a shit what you think' Kinney myth was born. /It’s a weird thing. When I woke up the next morning I didn’t even remember that Lindz had had the baby, but I could remember every single word that passed between us, every touch, every sigh, every kiss, and every moan. Still can.)
  20. A time of adversity - Brian and Justin have lost everything but each other after the Stockwell incident, but that isn't the end of their troubles. ( “I don’t know,” Justin said thoughtfully. “But I do know that surviving the bad shit makes me appreciate the good shit even more.”)
  21. Big man on campus – Justin transfers from NY to Pittsburgh. Brian is a senior and Justin is just a freshman at the same high school.
  22. Ice scorch – Justin is an ice skate trainer, and is summoned by Brian to save his account with Brown athletics. (Whatever the fuck you did next and why…you have no idea. You enveloped the smaller body in your grasp and clutched him to your body heat tightly. Vanilla scent intruded your senses and you sigh against his ear, whispering softly… ‘It's a push of the world but there's always a chance/ ‘If the hunger stays alive.’ He turns around in your arms and buries his head in the crook of your neck. And it feels like home. You never knew ice could scorch.)
  23. Spring clean – Fluff and hot ‘love making’. Brian and Justin are in an established relationship.
  24. For the love of Justin – Ben is a high school track team coach and he asks for Brian’s help to train a very talented runner named Justin. (Ben&George) (Such horrible things were done right under people's noses, but the people all said it wasn't their business. I vowed never to be that kind of person who stays silent when wrongs are done. Thank you, Ellie, for standing by us now. I promise you, I will do everything I can to make sure you are kept safe and the others too.")
  25. Celebration – Brian is a baseball player, yet the story remains the same (Brian and Justin adopt Ryan and become grandparents and grand grandparents + loving each other together into eternity)
  26. Hell Week – Brian and Justin spend the week in Toronto helping Gus with his football camp and bonding in ways only unique events can attain. (Gus looked at him. “There’s a third kind of straight person in your life now, Dad…the kind that loves you, to your face.”)
  27. Trouble – Justin is adopted by a dog on the grounds of Britin and he decides to keep it, yet not telling Brian about it. This leads to series of misunderstandings, Brian suspecting the worse. (Peter)
  28. Blinded – Brian is mugged on the street and blinded in the process. He is sent from the hospital to a rehabilitation centre. Justin is assign to take care of him completing his community service hours for smoking pot. – Brian is also a novelist of gay thrillers. He knows the real murderer of Jason Kempt and thus someone tries to kill him. (Jackson went with someone thinking the guy was nice. Nice is relative and it can cover ulterior motives/There are hard things out in the world, and you need to protect yourself) Seeing clearly – Sequel
  29. Omelette – Justin meets Ethan again and finds out he is positive and is scared for his own fate (they all are) ("I was fucking furious that you had this memory and I wanted it so much but you wanted to get rid of it. I know this is insane, but I felt like you wanted to get rid of the part of me I'd lost and then it'd be gone forever. I felt like you wished you'd never taken me home that night, never seen me under that streetlight-)
  30. Listen to your heart – Justin loses his hearing in LA when the pyrotechnics make a mistake while filming an explosion for a scene in the movie. Slowly Justin recovers his hearing and Brian is with him signing along the way.
  31. Summer vacation is looking up – Justin is epileptic and is mistreated by his parents, they even want to leave to Greece for a month leaving Justin with a caretaker. Fortunately that caretaker is none other than Brian.
  32. The evil ex – Justin is finally ready to come home from NY permanently and Gus doesn’t perceive this as a good thing.
  33. Shadows in the mirror – Justin is being constantly assaulted and Brian decides to take him far away from Pittsburgh. Even Jennifer and Molly move there with them, and Molly gives her son to them after getting pregnant. (Abe)
  34. Sun shines brightly – Justin was found when he was little by a tribe of Indians and since has lived with his wife Night Song and his daughter. But the spirits warn him that his true half and soul mate is Brian.
  35. Victorian interlude - Sometime in the 1880s - a rich man and a starving young artist meet for the first time and have mad, passionate sex
  36. The list – Brian and Brandon are work colleagues, work partners and friends, yet at heart they are competitors. They make a bet, a list of 10 people to fuck and see who the best is. On that list is one Justin Taylor, known as Brian’s friend Sunshine. Of course Brian does everything to take him off the list, unknowingly falling. (“I don’t think you have to have a picnic on the floor by candlelight, or you have to serenade someone to love them. I mean, a little romance is nice, sure, but… he’s kind of a cheese ball. It’s all too much, you know? He was telling me he thinks of me as his muse. We’ve known each other like…two months.” Justin giggled, embarrassed. /“I look at Ted and Blake, or Michael and Ben, and I can see they’re in love. I bet they have their romantic moments. But they’re still able to appreciate plebeian activities like dancing at a club or playing pool. It’s not all walking on the beach looking in each other’s eyes, right? I think being with someone like Ethan might be… suffocating. God forbid you’d feel like smoking pot together instead of feeding each other grapes…I want love, but I want to live in the real world. People do fart in bed, you know?”/ Justin… God. That was the name of the pain in his chest. Justin. How could you grow to love someone so fucking much in two short weeks? Fifteen years of staying as far away as possible from that bullshit emotion, and only fifteen days to ruin those long years of hard work by falling for a little blond, blue eyed twink. Just to be proven right almost immediately, that love hurts, and hope hurts, and you are better off wanting nothing, having nothing, so you are never disappointed and never hurt./“My partner, the man I love. The man I want to fall asleep with, and wake up to, the man I want to share my life with, make love to everyday, be with through tough times, and share the celebration of good times with, my lover, my…”/“I missed you so much! It hurt so bad, Brian, and I couldn’t talk to my best friend, ‘cause that’s you, and you were the one who hurt me, and I believed it, but I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t forget us, in bed together. And that made it worse, that I was so gullible and stupid, but then I’d remember your eyes, and the way you look at me when you’re inside of me, and it just made no sense…”)
  37. Lost sister – Justin unable to hold on once shoved off Brian’s cliff, decides to relocate to Ireland in a student exchange. There he runs into familiar hazel eyes that remind him of Brian only they belong to a woman. (Caitlin is Brian’s sister and Lindsay’s soul mate) ("So my promise to you is that every day I will marry you again in my heart and that will last until the day I die.")
  38. New Year – Brian puts Michael first after fucking him. He breaks up with Justin, leaving him no other option than to cut all his connections with the family. Justin quits the dinner and moves out from Deb. He takes two part-time jobs, yet money is still tight. Tomas (a waiter at the restaurant he is working) convinces him that there is a guy who will pay just to have sex with and Justin’s company, thus every Thursday he meets this man, who is so different from Brian yet his touch so familiar. Slowly he falls in love with HIM.  
  39. When it rains it pours – After Justin leaves Brian and goes with Ethan, leaving him, Brad shows up. He is everything – a combination between them – until the abuse starts happening. Brian becomes increasingly worried and takes Justin under his protection. Yet Brad doesn’t give up, he comes and beats Justin, until once he leaves Justin with no other choice than to fight or die.
  40. Changes – Justin decides to go 4 months to L.A. for school to escape loosing Brian for good. During all this time Brian realizes he wants Justin in his life, and is grateful for his return, and learns that Justin is brave enough to not take any bullshit from their family.
  41. Trapeze - Their lead attraction is Trapeze star Brian Kinney and there are plenty of changes in store for him too when he meets the young man who is in desperate need of changes in his own life. What happens when these two souls meet and discover more than a love for the circus in common between them? (amazing)
  42. Lofty ideas – Brian loses his job due to the scandal at the prom and Justin wants to help him open his own ad agency. (God, he is beautiful. We are so close, I sometimes have to step back and remind myself of how gorgeous my lover is. How gentle he can be. How caring he is under that 'fuck you' demeanour. I remind myself, because if I don't, I may have to fucking KILL him! /I lean back and smile at him, experiencing a surge of affection and admiration that leaves me feeling a little weak. He is so much more than my lover. He is my soul mate, my ideal, my partner. If he had any idea how strongly I feel for him, he would never take his foot off my throat. I kiss him, and then go into the bathroom to shave, feeling hopeful for the first time in months. More than hopeful. Confident. /We have this odd habit of pulling each other out of the ditch. He falls in, I haul. I fall in, he hauls. If we both fall in, we climb over each other and find our way out together. I realize that more than the sex, more than the romance, more than the affection, this ability to rescue each other from the worst the world can shove at us is the strongest definition of our love. I know how strongly he feels for me, and I revel in it)
  43. Rage – The gang does not see Justin since Debbie and Michael drive him home. That night his parents fight and die in an accident. He and Molly are forced to live on the streets, and the only source of income is Justin hustle.
  44. Holding on, ten years gone – Justin comes back from NY for Christmas and Brian asks him to stay for good.
  45. Day will be richer than night - Mel and Linds's anniversary is the thing that brings them back together again, an inevitable regroup. The Pittsburgh gang, now scattered across the states and further, all trailing in unison towards stations and airports to start their journey across the border. (awkward barrier)
  46. Big brother – Molly’s POV – three stages of how her brother has disappeared.
  47. Justin’s scrap box – Justin’s few memories
  48. First meetings – Brian’s meetings with Jack, Michael, Ted and Emmet, Justin and Gus
  49. Full circle – In New York Justin dates some guys and finally finds ‘the one ‘in Cal who wants a family with him. Thus they adopt Max a positive little baby. Cal learns he is also positive and makes Brian promise he will take care of Justin when he dies. (Before too long, only semiconscious, he murmurs, “Who’s…is someone there?”/“I get it.”/“Brian?” His voice is foggy and confused./“He may be pissed at you, but it’s not really about this drug thing. It’s because you’re dying on him.”/“Um, I don’t need you to explain my partner of eight years to me.”/“Me, though? I say more power to you. Why the fuck would you want to be a guinea pig for some pill that’s just going to make you linger a little longer while everyone sits around making idle chatter to unsuccessfully mask the fact they’re on a death-watch? Go out on your own terms. I applaud that. And I know how much you actors love applause.”/“Thanks, I guess. But I don’t really care whether you approve of my decision or not. So was that it? You came to give me your blessing to die?”/“Yes. That’s exactly why I came,” I snip back sarcastically. /“Then what the hell are you doing here?”/“I came to tell you you’re chicken shit.”/“With that bedside manner, I’m glad you didn’t consider medicine as a career.” He groans in discomfort, trying to sit up a little. “What happened to the ovation for my choice?”/“When you asked me to promise to be there for him, I assume you meant after you were gone. But, you know, I don’t think you’re as good for him as you claimed. Maybe I should go back to your house and climb into your bed and ‘be there for him’ tonight.” I’m such an ass. I didn’t need to go there. It just…came out./But he’s infuriatingly immune. Probably because he trusts Justin not to fuck me. Which is even more infuriating. “You say you get it, but you’re obviously pissed at me too.” /“I am.”/“O.k. I’m fine with that.” Fair enough. I wouldn’t give a shit if he was pissed at me either./“I’ll tell you why.”/“Of course you will. I’m sure a herd of stampeding grannies couldn’t stop you. Go ahead. It certainly can’t be because I’m dying on you.”/“You want to choose to die? Do it. But don’t be a fucking coward. Have some balls; look your son in the eye and tell him the truth. Don’t stick the man you’re supposedly soooo good for with a devastated, confused, angry kid who had no idea his father was about to disappear on him forever.” /That caught him completely off guard. “Wait…you’re here because of Max?”/“Do you know how many people get taken out in a car accident or a fire or something else totally out of the blue? You’re fucking lucky. You have a chance to say goodbye, to let him say goodbye.” I bring my hand to my face, pinching the bridge of my nose. “The only decent gift my old man ever gave me my whole life was…fuck, I hate this word, but…closure, for lack of a better term. When he told me he had cancer, he gave me a chance to, you know, work some shit out.”/“I’m honoured. I don’t think you’ve ever been that open with me before.” /“I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now. Shall we hug and sing folks songs?”/He coughs a laugh. “So much for that.”/Repentant in my own way, I admit, “I guess it’s easier to spill your guts to somebody who’s not going to be around much longer.” /He laughs harder, choking. I offer him some water, holding the straw for him. When he’s caught his breath, I challenge, “He needs you to help him figure out how to handle all this. You can show him how to accept it. Justin always brags that you’re the best father, like, ever.”/“He does?” I can hear how much that means to him./“Yeah, he does. But, it’s bullshit. Christ, you’re wasting your last opportunity to be a fucking parent. And about the real shit, not just a scraped knee or a failing grade. So how great a father can you be? You’re putting your own fear ahead of your kid’s best interest.” /He’s quiet for a while. Then, his voice thick with emotion, he says, “I need to rest.” No problem. I’ve said my piece. As I leave, he puts me on notice. “Hey. I’m still holding you to your promise. Especially now.”/“Why especially now?”/“I always knew how much you loved Justin. From the day we met, I knew. But you came all the way down here and snuck into my hospital room in the middle of the night, not looking out for Justin, but because you’re looking out for…” he pauses, overcome. His moist eyes glistening in the dark, he takes a deep breath to regain his composure. “Why especially now? Because now I also know how much you love my son.”)
  50. Lost and found – Brian finds out he has a cancer tumour and at first doesn’t want to follow up treatment, yet Molly makes him promise her to give her away and in exchange she will take care of him. Thus Brian comes and lives with Jennifer for a while. Brian’s personality changes due to surgery and he even marries Erick, a composer Ethan introduced him to. Justin marries Ethan, yet deep down they still love each other. Molly marries Peter, Brian’s nephew and both B and J spouses die in a car accident and they end up together. (“Yeah. How do you feel?” / “Fine.” Molly said with a tight smile. /“You know what fine means?” /“What?” /“Freaked out. Insecure. Neurotic and Emotional.” Brian smirked.)

Qaf Recs

Not in order, just the way I have found them and the impression they left on me.


  • Witness of love(Molly POV) (“I am not on anything for fuck’s sake. Can’t I just be happy? – Brian looked away. / Yeah, you can but the problem is you are actually showing it off and not hiding it. I am terrified. – I slapped a few dollars for the coffees and got up. Brian kept his mouth shut but kept on smiling. It was really fucking creepy. I couldn’t put a finger on what was going on for the next couple of hours of shopping delight until I dropped him off and saw Justin’s face at the door. Pure fucking glee…I could literally see the Sun impersonified on the spot. The fucker almost blinded me. I put a hand over my eyes and that’s when it hit me.”) – Laughable and amazing

  • Where there is heatWhat if Justin hadn’t been standing under that lamppost on Liberty Avenue? What if Brian had decided that the blow job he was receiving in the backroom of Babylon was worth sticking around for? What if…This is a story set in 2005, Justin Taylor and Brian Kinney have never met. Shortly after what should have been that fateful night five years ago, Brian moved to New York to open his own advertising agency and Justin graduated from St. James Academy. Never having met Brian, Justin didn’t come out to his parents (or his peers, other than Daphne) in high school and wasn’t bashed by Chris Hobbes. He went on to attend Dartmouth, delighting his proud parents. Double majoring in Studio Art and Marketing, he satisfied both his father and himself (and found the two areas of study melded much better than he anticipated).

  • The cradle will rock - Brian works for FBI. Justin possesses special talents but is in a mental hospital. He comes to Brian's attention because he has information about a case Brian is working on. Will seven years in an institution make it impossible for Justin to function in the outside world?(amazing in cases)

  • Hush - AU- A sixteen year old student, Brian, sets his determined sights on a new object of desire. A twenty-five year old teacher, Justin, happens to be that object. (“What? But that doesn’t make any sense. You can’t just walk away from all this shit. You love me! You said so yourself.”/“I do,” he nodded. “But that’s not always enough.”)

  • Not like everyone elseJustin, a writer, relocates to a cabin in the woods for some peace and quiet (and to insulate himself from his mother's 'mothering'). Throw Brian and Gus, two puppies, and a vet named Daphne into the mix -- romance and fun ensue! *(sappy and believable)

  • From utter hell to delicious torment - Brian and Justin are in high school together and they...hate each other. (Brian ran his hand along Justin’s chest, feeling the amazing soft skin under his fingertips. Justin rose up and then pushed down hard. Brian grabbed Justin’s thighs and met each of Justin's downwards thrusts. He looked up at the blond and his eyes filled with tears. / “Brian,” Justin breathed out as he looked at the brunet. “What’s wrong?”/“I love you,” Brian told him. “I don’t want to lose you. Never.” /Justin bent down and kissed Brian hard. They interlaced their hands and moved slowly. They both kept their eyes open as best as they could and just stared at each other./“I love you too,” Justin whispered when he was near the edge./Brian hugged him tightly and they both shot their cum at the same time. They would fight for the right thing and they knew it was each other.)

  • Brain damage/ Brian damageJustin remembers the prom, yet forgets the last 6 years. Brian convinces him that they are married after putting their rings on their fingers at the hospital (Justin fell off a ladder in a gallery in New York)

  • Justin Rage!Justin has super powers and helps Brian fight the vengeful spirit of Michael, Mel and Lindsay’s unwillingness to let Gus see his father, his insecurities.

  • That was the month before Christmas – Lindsay decided to run away with the painter, thus leaving Mel and Gus in Toronto. Mel didn’t want to have anything to do with Gus and Brian came and took him home to his real family.

  • Vice versaDaphne and Justin have a daughter together (Missy) when Brian and he meet on Liberty Avenue and fall in love. They become a family spoiling Melissa Victoria Taylor rotten.

  • Memory lane open - The road has been long, yet acknowledging the critical events that led to what they have now, is another step forward taken together. (retelling the events from either POV)

  • Spin me Sunshine and make me summer – Brian and Justin on a trip to Bahamas (King of Babylon contest)

  • Morning side of the mountainBrian and Justin meet differently. Brian loses his job and volunteers to take Gus (who won the opportunity of being Jay Boy’s student for a year) to Tennessee Rocky River. There he meets Justin, Molly, Arnie, Jace and Sissy (Justin’s children) and Daphne (their mother) + a horde of farm animals (The T’s, Murray, Tommy, Jinx, Harold…) + Add Emmett to the equation and an infatuated Gus (hits it off with Molly).

  • Angel steamBrian and Justin meet when J is 22 and B is 33, on a fateful night in front of Babylon. Both their lives were on a downstream to destruction, yet finding each other was the last straw to hang on and move on. ("This is all I need. I'm ready to go. Ready to follow you anywhere, anytime, anyplace. All you had to do was ask me. But you already knew the answer. Didn't you?")

  • The intermission – Continues season 2 after the Rage party. Justin chose Ethan over Brian, yet Ethan offered him the romance, the love making, yet not something that would sustain a relationship for long. (Justin slips his hand across the counter to cover mine and we lean forward simultaneously and kiss.  Just a touching of lips, just recognition of the feelings we used to have and it's okay.)

  • The prisoner on Tremont StreetContinues where Intermission left off. Brian and Justin are in Brian’s car when they are run into by another car. Brian fractures his femur and is immobilized in bed for two months, Justin takes care of him. (After another long pause, Brian adds, "But the thing is . . . even though I don't NEED you here anymore, not really. . ."  He takes a deep breath and goes on, "The thing is, I wish you'd stay a little longer.  Just for a while.  If you don't mind.")

  • Six monthsContinues “The prisoner on Tremont Street”. Brian asks Justin to stay away from him for six months so he can experience life, date and figure out what he really wants. (Our bodies slide together and every inch of him fits perfectly against every inch of me.  We move together like synchronized swimmers, I know when he’s going to moan, I know how to make him gasp for breath, and I know how to make him sigh and whisper ‘Brian.’  And he knows how to slide his hands down my back just so, how to lick and suck my left nipple until I almost come just from his mouth so hot there, he knows when to murmur ‘now-now-now’ to jolt me into an orgasm way, way beyond any pleasure I can ever remember.)

  • Forever my AvalonBrian and Justin meet differently through a job offer made to Ensign Brian to appear in a photo shoot. They fall in love and finally get married. Brian becomes a Navy SEAL and is forced to leave for long periods of time, leaving Justin all by himself (+his family: Harry, Jenn, Gus and his two little girls). As in every marriage they have their ups and downs. (“Twice in a lifetime is not bad for a lesson learned. It often takes more. Forgiveness is the hardest thing to do, but it is the best gift you can give.”)

Qaf recs

Hi, here are some more recs: 

  • Trying to make sense of it all – Age reversal: Brian is 17 and Justin is 29, and Justin also has a loft, a jeep, only Brian stays with the reputation of fucking everything that moves, and being a high school student he interns while Justin is manager at an advertising company. (“He made me feel like a whore, Daph,” I say finally and that just about covers it. I feel soiled by what he said to me. My whole weekend is spoiled. /“You are not a whore, Justin. You must have scared the shit out of him.”/ “Huh? What are you talking about? What did I do?”/“You were nice to him. And he liked it.”)
  • BearskinBrian is given a second chance to redeem himself. For 7 years he has to wear a bearskin, to not shave, cut his hair or clean. He is given unlimited money, which he mostly gives away. One day he meets Craig -who is in debt in over his head – and helps him. Craig takes him home to introduce him to his sons, thus there he meets Justin and falls in love.
  • Green eyed monsterMichael comes to the loft because Brian decided to spend time with Justin rather than with him. He witnesses Justin’s control over Brain when Brian pants and even admits to being in love with him.
  • Justin Taylor -  Jane Eyre AU
  • La liaison amorous - Justin and Brian meet at Saint Croix resort. They both have a partner, yet they reluctantly fall in love. Brian breaks up with Colin and Justin tells him they should wait 6 months to be sure that what they felt was real. When the time comes, Brian waits for Justin only he doesn’t show up. Why?
  • Forty – (“I’m not trying to be an asshole here. I’m just saying that...that...I don’t know this Brian Kinney all that well. I mean, he looks like the old Brian Kinney, he smells like the old Brian Kinney; he fucks like the old Brian Kinney, and he sort of acts like the old Brian Kinney. But only sort of. Because he’s grown so much. I can tell that. There is so much of him that I’m not too in tune with yet. And I want to be, Bri. I really want to be. But I can’t...I don’t want to just jump into this. I want to do this right. I want to get to know him properly. Because I want to be able to understand him – all of him – before something gets messed up because I didn’t know all of him well enough. I want to know all of him so that I can spend the rest of my life with him.”) Brian is forty and is unhappy with his life. He undergoes some changes, in reality not changing a once, just becoming the Brian Justin always saw inside.
  • Eternal triangle – A tale of past lives and missed encounters. (amazing)
  • The guy in the last cubicle on the right - Brian is a geek and at work he does everyone’s job and he doesn’t get any recognition. Gareth his friend convinces him to change. Justin is hired as the manager of Ryder and takes matters in his own hands.He informs Ryder of Brian’s actual talent and Brian is made partner. 

Qaf Recs

  1. No regrets  by Mesa - Offers a hypothetical solution to the fiddler drama. Justin and Brain make a deal, Brain will have him anytime, anywhere, with the condition that Justin won't ask for anything in return.  (“I wasn’t standing up for myself.  I was … listening to other people, doing what I thought I had to.  I was pushing you for things that didn’t even matter to me.  I just thought they were supposed to.”
  2. Follow me, follow you  by Kachelofen - When Brian surprises Justin by saying he is ready to give up tricking, Justin becomes scared mistrusting his good luck and so they split up. It only takes communication to salvage a relationship. ( “I have tried to drag you along with me into a relationship for so long; I get very nervous when you step ahead of me. It seems to put me off balance. I had to get used to you being all right with this.”)
  3. The little prince  by Kjsilopanna - Justin sees with his eyes what he is missing when he should see with his heart what he is not.  (“Listen, Sunshine. You’ve got to stop using these,” she says, pointing at his eyes with her index and middle fingers, “Because they won’t lead you to anything but trouble. Focus on things that will really make you happy, and your heart will show you what you need to do.”)
  4. How the story ends  by Erin - Post S5, Justin is in New York and is waiting for Brian to come to him, yet Brian postpones every time. On Justin’s show, Ted shoves him in the car to the airport. And once Brian sees how much Justin had missed him he decides to stay with him. (And Justin lets the tears come now. It’s one thing to know Brian Kinney loves you, to absolutely positively know it, but it’s another to hear him say it and watch the way his face softens when he does and remember how you felt the first time he said that to you and all the times after that.” – “Brian kisses the tears away, always hated watching anyone cry. He feels his own eyes swell now and realizes he was an idiot for thinking he could live without this.”)
  5. Dream of this by Wrenlet -  Brian and Justin have a conversation at 4 am about the prom after Justin remembers it in his dream. (…when he feels Justin's fingers slip behind his neck. He thinks, wildly, that they fit into the same spaces those same fingers branded onto his skin one night in Vanguard's art department and then he's pulled into a kiss that, God, could be -that- kiss all over again. How funny is it that the kiss Brian will remember until the day he fucking dies is not the one they were arguing about? Justin whispers fiercely against his mouth, "I am not leaving. But I'm taking a fucking walk.")
  6. I dream of Justin  by Joolesbritin (Julia) - AU - Justin had been  trapped in a bottle by the handiwork of a Fakir for 2000 years, he ends up at the loft in a trunk. Brian becomes suspicious when things are moves around the loft and witnesses the bottle freeing Justin for the first time. 
  7. Almost but not quite by Tyme - (“What do you think would have happened if I had gone with you that night on Liberty?” Justin asked thoughtfully. Brian considered his answer for a moment. “I’d have fucked your ass off and sent you packing like any other trick,” he answered honestly. Justin giggled and that giggle went straight to Brian’s cock as it always did. “No,” Justin said in mock horror. “I don’t believe that for a second. I’m way too special.” “Not back then. I was the classic selfish asshole and you were a just a twink. What the fuck would I have done with an inexperienced little twink?” “Love him,” Justin suggested with a bat of his eyelashes. “Naw, I’d much rather love you.”)
  8. Cohorts in crime by Crazy Fairy - The age difference between Brian and Justin disappears, they are both 17. They start by being friends – Justin bumping into Brian on the school hall. They end up being lovers, Justin supporting Brian whether he needed him, both hurting each other, loving each other, sharing the ups and downs of life
  9. Edge of the world  by Crazy Fairy The year is 55 BC. Brian is a Roman officer and Justin is a tattooed Celt. (unique) 
  10. Reason to belive  by Tammy - Brian has amnesia due to a drug, and everything changes. Justin breaks up with Ethan to be there for him, yet he soon realizes Ethan was there to whisper the words, and do the romantic things, still he was not Brian. Brian is more open, and feels disgusted with the person he used to be, and becomes the real Brian that he kept hidden behind the walls.
  11. Reconstruction  by Luceononuro - Justin teaches Brian how to dance
  12. Trading spaces  by Morpheus - After the Stockwell downfall, Brian is fired and broke. He is offered a job in L.A. and he asks Justin to come with him. Justin agrees, and they start a new life, while at the same time becoming closer. (“I love you, I think I’ve always loved you, and now I know I always will. Brian to Justin. ) – Partners
  13. Fairytale  by Heels over head - Justin and Brian are babysitting Gus, Brian is sick with food poisoning and Justin keeps Gus occupied by telling him the fairy tale of Prince Charming and Prince Sunshine (good one), Lindsay comes and picks Gus, thus Brian is the only listener to Justin’s story.
  14. Close to home  by Tyme - A story of Brian in a wheel chair
  15. Three days in our bullshit domestic life - by Sonofabiscuit77 - AU five years after 509. What if the Babylon bomb had caused a lot more damage than in canon?(tragic, realistic and powerful)
  16. Whatever it takes -  by Meredeth - Brian is a Psychiatrist devoting his life to suicide survivors. Justin lands in his hospital after a suicide attempt.(insightful)
  17. Things I cannot change - by Suzvoy - Brian is an alcoholic and Justin succeeds in changing his wicked ways. There are some things Justin can change, and some he can't. An AU starting around episode 107(Justin handcuffs  Brian to the shower)
  18. Gift grabbing - by Danny - Justin and Brian get a gift for each other that connects them. (Justin 3 lifelike pictures of Brian : ad-exec, hero, father/lover – Brian : a trip to Vermont and his cowrie shell  bracelet modified = I love you 24/7)
  19. But I won't do that - by Moonshadow Woman Plane crash and an injured Brian =a mature Justin
  20. In his kiss - by Cozieu - Brian and Justin meet in New York City, in 2005. Essengy is the club they both frequent and where they only kiss for a long time, falling in love with each other. Brian is an ad exec and Justin is an intern for Brian's company.
  21. Together (Sequel to In his kiss) - Their long journey, though long and sinuous, has come to an end. Brian and Justin learn to live together, be together and finally show their love though actions as well as words. (Love)
  22. Five steps behind  by Rhiannonhero - Brian and Justin are in a secret relationship after 3.07 and Michael finds out a month later and freaks out. Yet after a year he is willingly supporting them. (Justin was right. Brian would never kick Michael out. It would always be Mikey and Brian--forever. Best friends. Now he had to make sure that it would always be Justin and Brian--forever. Partners.)
  23. What everyone doen't know about us - by Draccone The whole gang is having dinner at Deb's when they decide to see if each couple knows their partner well or not. Lindsay and Mel, Michael and Ben and Justin and Brian were the three couples answering the questions given.
  24. What is and what should never be - by InnerJustin ("‘You slam the bottle down. “We’ve been here before. Don’t you get that?” You don’t even turn around to look at him. “We’ve been playing this same game for over 7 years. Come here, now go away. Stay, no go. I want only you, no never mind I found some else. Move in, oh no, I’m going to California. I LOVE YOU MARRY ME, NO I’M GOING TO NEW YORK!” You whirl around, your hands clenched into fists. “What’s it going to be this time? London? Italy? Will you ACTUALLY marry someone else this time?")
  25. Unshrink my heart  by Distorted_G - AU, After a difficult childhood, Brian has grown into a jerk that no one wants to be around. After some divine intervention, he is shrunken down to a few inches tall and it is up to a certain blond twink to take care of him. Will Brian become an unusual pet to him or something more?
  26. Thee or thy ship - by Ellyrianna -  Brian and Justin have never met before. Canon-wise, it would take place in late Season Two, so Ben and Michael have not yet met Hunter and the hustlers haven't been forced down to the Warehouse District yet. (There was no one else in the room – not Michael watching them suspiciously from the pool table, not the bartender wiping out glasses, not all of the guys who’d have loved for Brian Kinney to be holding them like that right then. Justin leaned his head against Brian’s, and Brian ran his fingers through the now completely blond, clean, and trimmed hair. In the past handful of weeks, he realized that he couldn’t get enough of carding that hair – among other things. Justin’s fingers rested lightly on the wrist of the arm Brian had tightly around his waist.)
  27. Work inside outWhen Brian has yet to experience the future and Justin can't remember the past, the other must look to their present parallel worlds for integration and work inside out to redefine their identity as individuals and as a unit.
  28. Just like heaven - by Cujo  - Brian is a comatose patient. He becomes a ghost that haunts the loft in which Justin comes to live.  What happens when both should have met 4 years ago, but didn’t? Fate kept throwing them chances, and they kept wasting them? When body and soul are reunited by that one person that had been missing from Brian’s life? ‘I love you ‘but you won’t remember me?
  29. Black canvas -  by Lyla V - ("How can you stand it?" You suddenly find your voice. /He grimaces. "Stand what?"/"Me!" You snarl./ He stares at you. "What the hell are you talking about?" /"I am talking about TRUST, Brian." Your teeth grit in anger at yourself, at your failures. "How can you stand trusting me when I’ve fucked you over so many times in the past?")
  30. Intrepid traveler by IrinaJustin travels back in the past so he can teach Brian what love means
  31. Love's tender refrain - by Freakykat ("“No! You haven’t! Cause then you’d stop your self-scarifying shit and know that if I don’t come home, I fully fucking expect home to come to me!”)
  32. 5.14  by Bloodyrose82Justin returns to Pittsburg for 2 weeks. He and Brian decide they should stay away from each other, but is that even possible? When Brian cannot separate himself from Justin what does he do?

Not able to connect (Ryoma/Tezuka)

Not able to connect
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           There is always a part of us detached that haunts us when we least expect it.      
-      

“That’s how he gets sometimes, shuts everyone out and we won’t hear from him for days.” You sit, if possible at the other end of the couch, entwined fingers under your jaw, mussing, disconnecting yourself from everything. But he has always been in your thoughts, you can’t stop now, can’t stop putting his well being before yours. Ryoma is to you like a pulsing throb at the corner of your mind, always there, so you’ll never forget that you are both in this. Whatever it is you have.

“Has he talked to you?” For an instant there is only silence, then you turn and look at Fuji – he is worried, you can tell – you answer, “No.” Not since he came back two weeks three days and seven hours. And you know why. Know that he has to deal with it himself. You have watched him for hours from your bedroom window how he would wore himself out, until his knees were trembling from exertion, and he would go past his limits by sheer will.

It took every once of your self-control not to rush on the court and drag him out of there, like a petulant child he was and still is.

“You seem to know why he acts the way he is.” Fuji has this kind of uncanny ability to see past your barriers that had others back away with just a glare. Now, however, the reason is not something you can put into words.

“Slowly he’ll tell us, until then it’s only fair we respect his privacy.” Fuji laughs, a sound you haven’t heard in a while. You are grateful to him for that. He says between fits of laughter “I had a feeling you’ll say something like that.” And once again he is right.

“Don’t wait for him to come to you, you have to give him a push, a reminder that you are there, by his side.” You nod, and he gives you a quick hug and he is gone.

Ryoma is being a brat, but you are being an idiot for waiting.
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Prompt #32 - Do you smell that

Apotheosis


The only way he knew how to remember was wobbling though the utter darkness on the moonless nights, kneeling in front of their tree, head bent down submissive and obeisant, entreating to be forgiven – only by her.
Long ago, longer than he could conjure to his memory, her constant presence by his side had been all he needed, wanted, dreamed of. And it was still. The pulse behind his ribs, the light behind his eyes, the shadow dawning on the ground as he often slept at the roots of that tree – all of these she was and more.

‘Do you smell that?’ His voice quiet and calm, his smile a little wistful, not once had he dared look up at the sky, as if he did not deserve such privilege. ‘Fall - perishable leaves adorning the soil, the ripen fruits, vegetable ready to be harvest and the cold nights as this when the bonfires are visible from miles away.’ They had this conversation every end of term and she would underline the good points of every season to come.

‘Tomorrow the children would arrive. You may not recognize them anymore, and they have children of their own. Nephews.’ He abruptly stood, glancing up instinctively, as if he had foreseen it, and maybe he had to some extent.

Dawn was spreading onto the horizon. ‘Elaine, my dear, I will come soon.’ He said, blowing out the candle.

You can never put it back together like it was.